"On the outside, you're free to roam. On the outside, you've found a home. On the outside, there's more to see. On the outside, we choose to be…" ~needtobreathe
This is my story
I’ve been away from writing for a little while, and what has gone on with me in the meantime has pushed me full force back to this laptop, bursting with the best part of my story that’s yet to be told.I believe this is the most important chapter I’ve ever written. I’m writing specifically to … Read more THAT GIRL IS GONE.
I have never felt like leaving the ministry I grew up in was the wrong decision. In fact, one of the things that makes the least sense to me is how so, so many people have gone back there after leaving. I can confidently say that there is NOTHING in the world that could convince … Read more CHAPTER 11 ~OUT FROM THE INSIDE~
My eyes opened to bright streaks of sunshine pouring in through the windows. The air felt cleaner and fresher, even as I watched tiny dust particles dance in the beams of early morning sun. The curtains were new…white sheer flowing ones that we had pulled out of a box in an attempt to make the … Read more CHAPTER 10 ~LEAVING~
During the years of 2008-2009, Mike and I settled into being married and our positions within the ministry. He worked very long and emotionally taxing hours as a boy’s dean, and I ran the girls’ school. I enjoyed teaching, and honestly felt like I learned and began to understand so much more academically as a … Read more Chapter 9 ~THE FORBIDDEN THOUGHT~
We left off on what was easily the best day of my life, my wedding day. That day was May 5th, 2007, and I was 20 years old. My life was about to change in more ways than I could have counted. After Mike and I returned home from our week-long honeymoon in Breckenridge, Colorado, … Read more Chapter 8 ~KOOL-AID~
You may be wondering why I titled this chapter “hard love” since I described in detail what a perfect match Mike and I were and are together. To me, hard love is real life. You skip along together during the sweet times, but you fight for and side-by-side each other when you’re in the trenches. … Read more Chapter 7 ~HARD LOVE~
Writing about how I fell in love is a welcome project after how it felt to write the previous chapter! In order to tell this story though, we have to go back and fill in some gaps because my soul mate and best friend has been a part of my life since I was 14 … Read more Chapter 6 ~FALLING IN LOVE~
I already know that this is going to be the hardest part of my story to tell. I have no idea how to put my teenage years into word form, but we’ll see how it goes. In case you can’t tell, I’m totally winging all of this, all the time. Sometimes I think maybe I … Read more Chapter 5 ~DISORDER & DARKNESS~
I titled this chapter “descent” because we’re getting to the stage in my story where things began to go downhill. We left off with me as a 9 year old, just setting out on my journey as a Christian. When I was around this age, some big changes occurred at the ministry my parents worked … Read more Chapter 4 ~DESCENT~
I’ve decided to dedicate the whole of “chapter 3” to the topic of salvation, and my own story of how and why at the age of 9, I took the first step of Christianity. Before we start, I want to throw in a disclaimer that this is going to be heavy!! Since I tried to … Read more Chapter 3 ~SALVATION~
To really tell my story, I have to first go back to before I was born. My mom and dad first met backstage at a show my mom was touring with. She was a new Christian, newly converted from Satanism. She was an actress, singer and dancer at Radio City Music Hall, living in New … Read more Chapter 2 ~OBEDIENCE brings blessings, disobedience brings consequences.~
“So, Mary, did you go to school right here in town?” “Tell us how you and Mike first met, were you high school sweethearts?”“You grew up right here, but you don’t know many people from around here….?”I know this is the point in whichever light conversation I’m having while meeting someone new that I have a … Read more Chapter 1 ~EXPLAINING the Strange~