"On the outside, you're free to roam. On the outside, you've found a home. On the outside, there's more to see. On the outside, we choose to be…" —needtobreathe
The deconstructing and untangling of my faith
There is a great lie that is pushed upon mankind on a moment by moment basis: our Creator doesn’t love us. Or maybe He loves some of us more than others, based on our performance for Him. Maybe He will only be present with certain religious denominations because they’re “getting it right” or holding the … Read more Holy & Beloved (How Can It Be?)
I seem to be desiring to love more, to love first without regard to how someone may or may not deserve or even return that love. I can see clearly and acknowledge wrong, embrace it with no fear-only love- and keep no record of it. The ability to embrace it is the key to forgiving … Read more To Love
Sin leads to death; in Christ, death leads to life. God does not control us. He allows us to sin. Why? Not because he is careless or punitive in nature, but because it is the nature of love to BEAR ALL THINGS. We humans tend to do the wrong thing. We are prone to wander … Read more Start With Sin, End With Life
“Can you imagine growing up in a small shed with the belief that if you opened the door, you’d be vaporized? What if one day, in despair, you cried out to an unseen God that if there was more to life, He’d show you truth?? A voice speaks to you then, telling you to fling … Read more •Journal Entry from 5/5/2019•
You know how any moment can transcend into a holy moment? You can be numbly working your way through washing a pile of dirty dishes when suddenly, a wave of gratefulness washes over you. Nothing really happened to trigger it, except seeing your kids outside the kitchen window playing in the yard. Or you suddenly … Read more Holy
If there is one chapter in the Bible that can stand relevant to humanity in any timeline or culture, it’s 2 Corinthians 3! This beautifully-written chapter gives us a glimpse into just how spiritually shameless and unafraid Paul was. Verse 4-“Such confidence we have through Christ before God!” This kind of confidence is utterly devoid … Read more Such Confidence
You must come, for God is already drawing. You must believe, for God is already teaching. You must follow, for God is already leading. You must receive, for God is already giving. The story of Redemption is written from Beginning to End. It is finished. God is telling your story. He is the Author of … Read more Can You Believe It?
For those who drink the cup of suffering. For those who taste the bitterness and yet still drink. For those whose souls are in torment, who feel torn in pieces and tossed around by circumstances outside of your control. If your soul cries out in anguish this very day…lean in. Do not take up the … Read more The Cup of Suffering
I am the exile, the rejected desert-wanderer who experiences God as inconsistent, controlling, violent and retributive. I have lived my life in an endlessly repeated cycle of love and devotion followed by idolatry, shame and punishment. They say I am a child of God, but how long have I lived under Moses, my accuser? I … Read more Exile
I typically say that my recent “awakening” happened at the beginning of 2019. What I’ve come to realize, though, is that it really all began in January 2018.You can call it a spiritual awakening, or the deconstruction of my faith…whatever it was, I remember coming to a place much like Jacob did when he wrestled … Read more this man called Jesus
At the moment I have 332 entries in the Notes app on my phone. A few months into the deconstruction of my faith (which you can read all about in my blog post titled ”Deconstructing Sandcastles”) I began to opt for unriddling my thoughts using my phone rather than pen and paper. My hand was … Read more Father
I know exactly how you feel. Like everything is just…so…hard. Somehow the more work you put into your faith, the more exhausted and unhappy you become. You try to keep the sin out of your life, but most of the time you do exactly what you are trying to avoid. You’re afraid of being found … Read more Letter To The Exhausted Legalist
When I think about dancing, it’s the same as if I were thinking about aspects of my own personality, or my eye color, or my height. Dancing is a part of me. I was born to be a dancer. God knew that the musical genetics of my family, combined with the creative brain He designed … Read more ~Reverence~ The End of a Season with Dance
Well, hello there! You may have been wondering where I’ve been. Or, probably you haven’t. This blog certainly has had a weird existence, beginning roughly 8-9 years ago when I was a young mom. I needed a place to write my thoughts down, and mostly I was reaching out to see if anyone else felt … Read more Deconstructing Sandcastles: A Church Kid’s Journey Through Doubt
Five months ago, as I was unraveling the tangled ball of thread that is my belief, I came upon one thread that I knew was important. Not just important, but critical. As I worked through the knots of grey threading, I had suddenly pulled out a thick cord of scarlet red. One year earlier, I … Read more What Would You Do: If God stood before you right now?